How we spent our Saturday

Today was our annual fall pilgrimage to the Fredericton Farmer's Market. While we were in Fredericton....

More signs that we'll get our referral next month

Fresh from the Rumor Queen site, here is more proof that we may actually be nearing the end of this journey. Even under her Horrid Case scenario, we are in. Now these are just her predictions based on feedback but it's a sign.

Without discussing it before, Jennifer and I both sent messages to our HR departments this morning looking for answers to questions... medical coverage while away, when is the kid on our medical plan, what forms do we need to fill out, etc...

Tonight will be more work on the the final touches on the kids room. We need another coat of paint to the dresser top, install the curtain rod ends and install the valance, and work some more on the rocking chair refinish. Then we need to hang some wall decorations and voila! It's done. Nope! You won't see a pic until it's done. I gave you guys a teaser in the early stages a few weeks ago but nothing else until it's done.

Room renovation pics

OK, here are pics of the work in progress. Jennifer has been video-ing this for the kid and I took some screen shots from the video. Unfortunately, the colors do not come out all that well. The room is looking much better today than it is in these pics and I will get some more pics uploaded once the trim is finished.

Building the closet organizer. We priced buying a "kit" but it was much too expensive so I decided to build one myself. Here I am marking off the spots for the holes for the adjustable shelving. Alot of measure-twice-drill-once as I drilled holes up both the front and back of both sides so that we could adjust the shelving when we needed to.


Here's the original color of the room. The yellow on the right side is closer to the actual yellow of the room. This used to be our computer room and we painted it when we moved in years ago but never really did much else to it until now.

A shot of the closet with the closet organizer in place, doors off being painted, and some of the painting has been started in the corners and around the outlets. I never realized how small the closet was until I started trying to figure out what I'd do to it. The shelves on the right side are adjustable with plans for a hamper at the bottom. There are 3 clothes racks on the left side now, but I made them adjustable so that we could install 2 as she grows then 1 later on. By the time she needs just 1 rack for her clothes I'm sure the shelves on the right side will need to come out as this is a tiny closet.

The painting begins. It's hard to tell, but the paint is less blue and more of a mauve or purplish tint. Have I ever told you how much I hate painting? We decided to put wainscoting on the bottom part of the wall so I got lucky on the painting and only had to paint 3/4 of the way down the wall. Unfortunately, the wainscoting took many more hours of work than the painting would've taken me. I'm surprised at how easy the wainscoting went together. Once all of it was nailed in place, I painted it with 2 coats of white paint. The paint looks very blue in this pic.

Here I am demonstrating my expertise at home renovations... painting with my mouth while using the air nailer to secure the wainscoting to the walls.
More pics to come...

kids room update / general rambling

THE KIDS ROOM

It just won’t end! I am great at starting a project but I never seem to be able to muster enough strength to finish them. Our house is a potpourri of half finished projects. I can almost see the finish line on this project… it’s so close.

How can one room take so much paint?!?!?! Last night I had to put the final coat of paint on the doors and door frames. I also picked up the door and window casings and got 2 coats of paint on them to get those ready. We plan on replacing the old window with a new one sometime this fall so while the old window will stay there for a bit longer, I figured I’d at least touch it up and add some white-ness to it. It’s the old shellacked wood windows and the brown really stand out form the rest of the room. I also painted the baseboard heater to match the room as it was starting to show it’s age.

So, painting is done.

Baseboard heater can now be installed back against the wall

Last few pieces of chair rail and baseboard needs to be cut and nailed.

Door and window casings need to be cut and nailed. I forgot the rosettes so off to Kent I go again today.

Nail holes need filled and painted. I guess I’m not done painting.

Install new wall plugs and light switch.

Maybe that wasn’t the finish line, just a mirage.

RUMORS

Not much else is new. No early rumours yet. We’re holding out hope for a referral this month, but not promising anything yet.

THE FUTURE OF THIS BLOG

Jennifer and I have decided to end this blog once we receive our referral. This part of the journey has been very public and we want to restrict the next part of the adoption adventure to people closer to us. As far as blogs go, this blog hasn’t had a huge following of dedicated readers. Most of the people checking it have been family, friends or acquaintances but we want to make sure we know who is reading about “Gertrude’s” life. Up to now, it’s been primarily about us and our lives which I was OK sharing with all of you. Once we get our referral, this process changes from being about us to being about the kid’s new life. If you have been following this blog and want to continue doing so, please check back in the near future for a link that will allow you to get access to our new blog.

That’s it for now. Off to Kent during my lunch hour.…

Scott

Wednesday update

MY LIFE HAS BEEN CATEGORIZED INTO 3 BINS

Now that the office has been emptied out for the transition to a kids room, we realize that we (OK, mostly I) have too much stuff. Nothing of great importance, just stuff. Books, magazines, trinkets, tools, clothes, shoes, camping stuff, just all-round general clutter.

Jen has come up with a great way to get us (me) to clean up my act. She went to Wal-Mart and bought 3 big Rubbermaid bins. One is marked KEEP, one is marked YARD SALE and the third is marked THROW OUT. Every item in every room will be touched and will end up in one of the 3 boxes. OK, some stuff like the living room is safe as I have nothing in those rooms. We can then decide where all the KEEP stuff will go. It’s amazing, as a packrat, how much stuff we accumulate.

KIDS ROOM RENOVATIONS

Besides being a packrat I am also a professional procrastinator and the kid’s room’s renovations have taken a backseat until fall. I’ll play the odds and take a chance that we won’t get our referral until late summer / early fall which will allow me to enjoy the summer outside and not in a stuffy bedroom doing renos.

CHANGES TO WEBSITE

Look at the address line above and you’ll see that the URL for this website has changed to a Blogger hosted site. I was hosting this on my own website before but for several reasons (anonymity and privacy being the most important) I have moved it to Blogger. If you still go to www.sco... to get to this site, please change your bookmark now as the other link will soon disappear and this will be our only page.

FRIDAYS ARRIVAL

I was fortunate enough to be able to go to the airport Friday to see little Kai arrive in Moncton. Kai is the 3 year old boy who was recently adopted by a Moncton family. Usually, we see a small child arrive in Moncton who is too young to fully realize what’s happening. For this arrival, it was somewhat different as Kai was well aware of his surroundings and you could see him stick close to Mom. We all gave them their space while he got comfortable with all the strangers around him. He met one of his “new” siblings” in China but the other 2 were waiting for him when he got here. It was quite a great site to see. I took some video and am hoping to have it available soon.

That’s it for now. Have a great Wednesday!

Scott

Preparing your dog for the kid

I’ve posted before on how to prep your dog for the lifestyle change they’ll be experiencing when the kid comes, but I found this article and thought it was worth posting. I don’t think it’s the same as the previous post I did on dogs, but if it is, it’s worth repeating. Our pooch Abby has been thru 5 obedience classes and is quite well behaved but I see a lot of things in this article which we’ll have to do to prep her for the “scream machine”. Abby is quite noise sensitive so her adjustment to a LOUD child and all the loud noises associated with a child will be one of the hardest things for her.

This is from the Rumor Queen site. The original post is HERE but I’ll post it in its entirety here in case it was to ever disappear from the RQ site.

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Dogs

Someone asked a question about preparing your dog for the baby. This will be long. But it's important.

One of the biggest things is to change as much as you can well before the baby arrives, so the dog doesn't associate this change with the baby.

Think about where your baby is going to spend her time, and where she will be walking/crawling. You don't want the dog's dish to be in her “zone", so go ahead and move the food and water dish elsewhere. If it's a small dog then move it into a laundry room or the garage and put a doggie door into that room. If it's a big dog then you may need to start feeding the dog outside or in the bathroom with the door closed - so the "graze when you want to" thing may have to go away. It is important to make this change at least four months before you arrive home with baby.

If the dog currently sleeps in bed with you and that will change because the baby will be in the bed, then you must kick the dog out six or more months ahead of time. Sleeping arrangements are really big to the dog; make sure he does not associate any changes in sleeping spot with the baby.

If your dog doesn't know (and obey) basic commands then you should really work on this as well. They need to know what "gentle" (or "easy") means, they need to know what "down" and "come" mean. And most of all when you say "no" they should immediately stop what they are doing and look to you for instruction. Every single time. (Another note, if you are working on obedience with the dog daily when you leave then you must continue it when you return - you must not omit any "attention for doggie" times that the dog is used to).

It will also be important to try to segregate the dog and baby for a little while. At our old house the first floor was circular and we blocked things off so the (crawling) baby had the living room and dining room and the dog had the kitchen and foyer areas and part of the living room. We did this with baby gates and strategically arranged furniture. This way the dog and baby could meet at the baby gate and interact with each other, but if either wanted to stop the interaction they could just walk away (without being followed).

We put one of these baby gates up ahead of time, so the dog was already used to it being there. We also moved the furniture around months ahead of time.

We also put ALL of our dog's toys away about four or five months before we traveled. He had one or two that he was possessive over, so we removed every one of them. And he has never seen any of them again. And he survived it.

Another thing we did well ahead of time was to start petting him like a toddler would. I pulled at his ears just a little bit to get him used to it (he mouthed me in protest when I first started this, but after a month of this he no longer did that). I started messing with his tail. I fiddled with his whiskers. All of this was stuff we'd never done with him, and he was none too pleased about it at first, but he got used to it.

This next one is a biggie. Pay attention to how the first meeting with your dog will play out. If the dog has been in a kennel, you don't want to already be home with baby and settled in before you bring the dog home. The dog does not know how long you were gone, only that he has been sent away while you and this horrible screaming baby were in his house. He will feel resentful.

If at all possible, have someone else pick your dog up a day ahead of time (or maybe that morning) and bring the dog home so he is there to welcome you home.

When you come home with the baby, have someone else (that the dog knows and is comfortable with) bring the child into the house. Yes, I know we aren't supposed to let other people hold the baby yet, but this one time you simply must. You do not want the dog to be jealous of the baby the first time he sees her. This first meeting is very important - you should focus on giving your dog as much undivided attention as he wants.

Of course, it's also important that the baby not completely freak out when she sees the dog. It helps to have pictures of you interacting with the dog that she has been looking at for the last two weeks. Point to the dog and call him by name in the picture a dozen or more times a day while you're in China. And then do the same thing in the car on the way home.

Two very important things:
1. The dog should have a baby free zone to eat.
2. The dog should have a spot he can go to when he doesn't want to be bothered.

The first is easy. The second will take some work as your child grows. She will need to learn that when the dog is "laying there" she is not to pet him. She is not to go stand a foot from him and look at him. She is not to stand on the other side of the room and call his name. That is his "quiet place" and she needs to learn to respect that.

Pay close attention to how the dog sees things. Never do something to make the dog resent the baby. When the dog is being extra needy at the same time you need to be doing something for the baby then get your spouse there pronto to give attention to the dog. If your spouse isn't home then stick the child in a highchair with some finger foods and then get down on the floor with the dog. If you and the dog are being silly enough you will also provide entertainment for the baby.

Remember positive reinforcement for the dog. Keep dog treats close by (but out of reach of baby and doggie) and reward him for being good.

Think in terms of pecking order. Make it clear to the dog that he's still the lowest in the pack order. It is natural for him to try to assert himself over the baby, so you need to make it clear that this won't work. Let him hang out under the high chair when baby is eating. And after baby is eating then take him to wherever he eats and feed him.

If he makes an obvious push to walk through a door ahead of the baby, then stop him and make him wait. The baby cannot assert herself yet, so you must. And as the top of the pack, he will follow your lead. Assuming you've done a good job of creating pack order in the first place. If the dog has any inkling that he is above you then it's not safe to bring a baby into the house.

As soon as you feel comfortable with it, let her give him treats. (Don’t let her give him her food, but let her give him his treats). If she doesn't eat all of her food and you let him eat table scraps, then YOU should give her plate to him, not her. She should only be giving him treats that are his. (She can start feeding him from her plate in a couple of years - but make sure she's at least 3.5 or so and that she's been in the family for at least a year and a half).

We put a lot of time into preparing our dog for this huge change, and then we spent a lot of time working to make sure everything was okay once we arrived home. And we did a good job. My three year old could walk through a room with food in her hand and he wouldn't take it from her. Yes, he weighed four times more than her at that point, and he might have been following her hoping for a handout, but he did not take it from her.

We still work hard at making sure they get along good. She is in a bossy stage right now and we have to constantly call her down about not bossing him around. She has also stood in time out for telling him he's a "bad dog" when he hasn't done anything wrong. When I catch her doing something that isn't appropriate while he patiently lets her... I fuss at her and then tell him he's a good dog and give him a treat.

One thing he quickly learned, if she was doing something and we didn't see then he groaned to get our attention. It was far from a growl, just a grumble/groan, and as soon as he did that we removed her from his presence. It's as much about you respecting the dog as it is about him respecting the baby.

A couple of months after arriving home he was fiercely protective of her. We were out hiking and had stopped for a bit in a pretty spot to let the baby crawl around on a blanket. He jumped and snarled at someone who was walking in the general direction of the baby. It scared us all (especially the person approaching our daughter). I had him on the leash, and quickly pulled him back into a sit at my side - but he was still snarling at this stranger who had been walking towards HIS baby. We'd always been able to take him on hikes, so this was new and really caught me off guard.

They really are the best of friends now. And that could have only happened by us working very hard to not create any situation that would promote jealousy, and by us making sure that the dog had no doubt about the pecking order.